Most of you know about the dating app called Tinder (or as I like to call it the "fuck" or the "fuck with" app) but have you seen some of the people using this app? Its an effing freak show comprised of big pizza pics, cats, and terrible motivational quotes beneath every chicks picture. I hate this app because alomst every girl on it says "I'm not here to hook up". Why the fuck are you here? You want to make friends with me based on how I look in a picture? It just seems to me that its more ethical to make a superficially influenced decision on who youd like to hook up with rather than who you want to keep around you. Look, if I like you because of your photo I am definitely not interested in your personality. My attraction to you is purely superficial on Tinder. That's why I get sick of chicks here. They should understand this right? Anyway, now I'm back to fucking hoes the old fashion way, by taking them to cemeteries and invoking demons within their bodies until they're sex crazy. For real.
This girl I found on Tinder was super christian. Respect, but hoe you smell like piss. It's cool if you're Christian but it kills my buzz when I'm on the E-hunt for nastiness. So this is how the conversation was initiated. Shortly after I gave her my number and we texted for a while until I came through.
Showed up at her window, made eye contact for six seconds, then I texted her "Outside. Dick hard."
I spent the night in jail for trespassing. That's why I hate Tinder.
